I'm going crazy.

I can't stand messes.  I can't stand sticky stuff, or crumbs.  By looking at my kitchen this very moment, one would think I actually liked it though.  I'm trying to muster the courage to go clean it.  I miss my kitchen in the "I Building" out in another part of West Jordan where I lived in 2011.  That was the largest kitchen I ever had.  Tons of counter space, large double sinks, a dishwasher, a large pantry...an open bar thing that looked into the living room... I really miss it.  In fact, that was the nicest apartment I've ever had.  I miss a lot of things about that place.  Mostly I miss the memories and the experiences of my life that happened while living there.  Right now we're in a townhouse.  It was so exciting at first to have 2 floors and some stairs, plus 2 entrances.  But now I'm feeling sort of smothered in the stacked-style space.  I would like to get back to a 1-level dwelling until I'm prepared to purchase a house.  

Basically nobody spends time upstairs.  I mean, the boys play in their room but I don't play in Mine.  It's the smaller bedroom.  I made that decision when we moved in because I felt it was important for the kids to have more space to create magnificent lego structures and k'nex models, plus laying out their toy cars in parades or building all sorts of block mazes and such.  I'm still glad I made that decision almost 18 months later.  There's just 1 of me, but 2 kids here so They get the larger bedroom.  I am trying to figure out the best arrangement in my room, though.  I have put my bed against 3 of the 4 walls, and I didn't like it there.  It won't fit on the 4th wall though.  I'm going to try the head of the bed against the wall so the rest of it juts out like a peninsula into the room.  Currently my bed is in the boys' room so I could move things around and lay out my room.  Another reason I moved my bed in their room is for those really hot nights when I have to use the Air Conditioner.  Theirs is the only room with an A/C unit.  So I either sleep downstairs on the couch bed if it's not too hot, or I go sleep in the boys' room to share the cooled off space. 

I have a mission today:  Take everything out of the room that I don't want or need in there, and bring it down to the patio.  Then I have to make myself go through it and get rid of it if I can't find a sensible place for it in the home.  This has been a struggle for me because I always think this is going to be the year when my circumstances line up in order to buy a house.  Why get rid of the big box of picture frames if I'm going to have more space soon?  But at this point I just want the space to be taken up with people and not stuff.  In a great blog I found, From My Tippytoes, I see it explained very well.

I like how she said to make room for people instead of Things because relationships are the most important part of this life.  When you die, you have your relationships.  You don't take your 'stuff' with you.

Now I am going to clean the table and floor in the kitchen, then start on my room.  Right now it doesn't feel like my room, but I'll change that this week.  I'm update this entry by posting a before and after picture.  Remember, in the Before picture you're basically looking at the room that has become the storage/project room since I moved my bed out (due to the heat of this summer).  How quickly things pile up.